Be Kind to Yourself!
Dear Friends,
Do you sometimes (or often) notice that you’re talking to yourself in a harsh, self-critical way that you would never do if you were talking to someone you care about?
If so, you’re not alone.
Growing up in our culture, most of us learned that if we want to succeed in life - at work, in social circles, to be healthy and fit, etc. - we should speak to ourselves in negative and judgmental ways.
In fact, research has shown that the opposite is true.
Kristin Neff, Ph.D. has done extensive research showing that self-compassion is much more effective for helping us lead happy lives and accomplish our goals than self-criticism.
One great self-compassion technique is talking to ourselves like we would talk to a loved one.
To practice this:
Think of an area where you have been criticizing yourself
Write down all your self-critical thoughts - get them out of your head and onto paper where you can see them objectively
Now think about how you would talk to a loved one going through the same challenging situation, such as a close friend or adult child
Write down what you would say to them - I bet it will be a lot more loving, reassuring, and encouraging!
Write a letter to yourself saying these same kind things
Throughout the day, practice replacing the self-critical thoughts with self-compassion
For more information on Kristin Neff’s research on self-compassion and her books, classes, etc. check out her website at:
Self-Compassion by Kristin Neff
Contrary to what many of us learned from our culture growing up, being kind to ourselves actually is the best way to achieve our personal goals and also be strong enough that we can help our families and communities.
Sending you much love,
Liz
P.S. This year my focus is sharing quick tools we can use to decrease stress and increase resilience. If you missed any previous posts, you can find them on:
Happy Brain Life | Liz Wiegardt | Substack
